Sunday, December 26, 2010

Saying Goodbye (for now)
















12/26/10

It's the day after Christmas and I have decided to write one more blog entry and then close it down (for now). It has been 4 months since I returned from Afghanistan, and I've had plenty of time to reflect on the past year. In fact, sitting here with family in my own home makes quite a contrast to where I was one year ago. I spent time thinking back to where I was and what I was doing on Christmas and New Year's 2009, and I realized how thankful I am for being home this year! I still know a few Chaplains over there now, and I can sympathize with them for being away from family on the major holidays, but I know how fast it goes by and I know they will both be home with their families soon, too. I keep them in my prayers often.

The transition back into my old groove was harder than I anticipated. I took some time off initially and then went back to my old job as a counselor at a local hospital. I really struggled in my spirit because I did not want to be there. I was so certain that God was going to open a "new" door for me once I returned. I was dreaming of ministry opportunities in churches all over the country (even sent out a few resumes), but nothing panned out. I was disappointed. In fact, I have to admit that I went through a period of spiritual disappointment with God. Phillip Yancey's book by the same title was helpful to me, as was Timothy Keller's book, The Prodigal God. I could relate to the older brother in the Prodigal Son story, the guy who is angry with "dad" for not rewarding him for obedience and faithful service. I was that guy! I was upset with God for not rewarding me for my service to Him. Instead, I got silence from God and the opportunity to go back to my old life -- the very life I was anxious to leave behind when I left for the deployment in the first place.

But God is faithful. He was slowly allowing me to reassimilate into my olf life (family, home, job, church, etc), and it takes time. Too much change too quickly would have been a bad thing for me, and God knew it. He was allowing me to heal and grow. Which, I am proud to say, I think I have done. I made the decision to begin looking for a new church home (for reasons that I will not go into here), and so we will begin that quest in the New Year. But other than that, things are pretty much back to normal. Well, a "new normal." I am still doing counseling at the hospital, still in the Army Reserves, and still taking seminary classes on-line. But I can see light at the end of the tunnel now and maybe a few new opportunities for me at the hospital where I work. So I have learned that God's silence may not be a bad thing. He wants us to be obedient and confidently move ahead with His Will -- even if we cannot hear Him at the moment. I have been a Christian long enough to know that God loves me and will never leave me nor forsake me. He has a perfect plan for me, and all I have to do is believe it, walk humbly with my God, and wait patiently for Him. (I never said it was easy, but it can be done).

So for now, I will add a few final pictures from this Fall and say Goodbye. (The State Fair with the kids, kissing my wife, my daughter and her new puppy, at a Purity Ball with my oldest daughter, and at my friend Stephen's wedding). Thank you for following along with me over the last two years. If and when God has another cool adventure for me and my family, I will get back on and start the blog up again. But for now, all good things must come to an end. (I found a company that will help me turn this blog into a book, so I'll keep these memories in hardcover print forever. Maybe lay it on the coffee table, who knows?). I hope you all have a great 2011!

Thanks again..... Chaplain Darren

Friday, August 27, 2010

Finally Home



27 Aug Friday

I am finally home. It was a tearful reunion at the airport, as both my family and members of my local Reserve Unit came to greet us when we arrived. It was awesome. I finally got to hug and kiss my wife and kids and know that I will not be leaving again anytime soon.
Now that I'm home, I plan on not doing a whole lot for a few weeks. I'll then take a good look at my options and see what God has in store for me/us next.
I want to thank you all for following along with my blog over the last year and a half. It was fun to write and I hope it was (almost) as much fun to read. Thanks for joining me on this fantastic journey to Afghanistan and back, and I can only hope that God has spoken to you through this in some way shape or form. I know He did for me!
Check back in again soon. I am not exactly sure how I want to finish this little blog-journey, but I know that I will bring it to and end sometime soon. I understand you can publish your own blogs and turn them into personalized books. I may do that in the near future. But as for now... I thank God for bringing me through this safely and I praise Him for te opportunity to serve Him as a Chaplain and come home to my family. Now I want to relax and do a whole lot of nothing! Talk to you again soon....

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Going Home Tomorrow

Thurs 26 Aug
I have been waiting for a very long time to be able to say, "I'm going home tomorrow!" Today is our last day of this de-MOB process -- and therefore this deployment -- and we will all be released to go home tomorrow. They will fly us all to our home states and local airports, so it will be a glorious day! I can't wait to see my wife and kids at the airport (yes, I may shed a few tears), and I'll even make it home in time to celebrate my mom's birthday coming up soon, too. It should be a great weekend.

Way back when this trip started I had someone tell me that deployments will change you, so I should pray that God changes me for the better. I remembered that advice and began praying that very prayer even before we left the USA back in October, 2009. And I am here to tell you that God answered that prayer in more ways than one. We grow the most through difficult circumstances and trials, and this sure was a growing experience. Overall, I think I am a more tolerant and patient person. Although I suppose the crowds at the mall or a traffic jam will test that theory pretty quick! I know I have grown to appreciate the little things in life more, as well as the people who mean the most to you. We take so much for granted in our country, it's truly unbelievable. That is, until you live with and see people who have far less.

So I have been pondering the Apostle Paul's words in Colossians 3:2 and 3:5 where he writes to put away the desires for things of this earth and to set our hearts on what is above (i.e, the Messiah). This is a very hard thing to do, as you can imagine. Having been away from our society for a year, I now find myself wanting "things." I catch myself admiring that cool new iPhone that my buddy owns, or that sweet pick-up truck that just drove by, or some other material possession that I don't currently possess! I want it. In fact, I want it all.

But the Scriptures say don't do that. God tells us that He wants to give us the desires of our heart, but I don't think that means a Farrari and the iPhone! I think God wants the desires of my heart to match the desires of His heart, and then He will gladly give them to me/us. OK, sounds easy, but what does that look like or really mean? Well, I have stumbled upon something else in my devotionals recently. Have you ever noticed how often the New Testament teaches us to love others? I think it may be the central, guiding principle of both Christ's and Paul's teachings. To truly love each other, and to show the world we are different through this one simple act. (I wish it were that simple!). But it can be done. Sadly, we Christians look and act and sin too much like everyone else in this world, and we are failing miserably in attracting a lost and dying world to the love of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I am praying that God helps me learn to love the un-lovable, and love those who persecuted me this past year. A pastor friend once told me that "sheep sometimes stink and bite." He was right. So maybe through it all God is teaching me to learn how to love and feed His sheep. I hope so.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Prayers Needed

Tuesday 24 Aug
I am very frustrated. The last five days have been so slow and inefficient that we all just want to scream. Here we are, just days from being done with this thing and home with our families, and the Army (in it's infinite wisdom) decides to take a four-day process and stretch it into eight! It has been unbelievable how much time has been wasted since last Thursday and how much sitting around we have done during that period as well. The schedule calls it "decompression time", which is basically a fancy way of saying we don't have anything scheduled for you, so just sit around. It's absurd. We could--and should--be done with this process already, but NO, that would make sense. Instead, they have us here a few more days before we all get released. We're all going stir-crazy.

But I had another reason for blogging today: I wanted to ask for your prayers. I have been seeking God's guidance regarding my immediate future after this deployment. But God has been very silent on this topic. I am not sure why, but I know enough to trust Him and wait. So I would like to ask for your prayers to do just that, and to have the spiritual eyes and ears to discern what He wants me to do. Thank you.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Back in the USA !!







Sunday 22 Aug

It has been an eventful week since I last posted from Kyrgzystan and the sports bar scene. (I added a picture of the candy-bar rack available there for the soldiers heading to and from theater. Crazy, huh?). So the day finally came for us to leave and we boarded the DC-10 and flew back to the USA on Thursday. It was an interesting route home, since we stopped in Romania and again in Ireland to refuel. Both times we got to get out and roam through the respective airports. Romania was beautiful; Ireland was dark and rainy. But from there we flew to Maine and refueled again, before heading on to our final destination here at Ft. Bliss, TX (near El Paso). We are currently staying here for our final week. This is called the "De-Mobilization" process, where they have you turn in your weapon(s), Individual Body Armor (IBA), and then go through a medical and dental out-processing. (I found out I may have 1 cavity, oops). Tomorrow we all go through a mental health evaluation -- boy that should be fun! But today is a down day on the schedule so I went to church already and later plan to hit the weight room (maybe a nap in between!).

As for the pictures, notice the band playing for us when we landed at Ft. Bliss. They had a nice little reception planned out for us, and even a few families made the long trip to greet their loved-ones when we arrived. But I could not resist the temptation of one final picure of my ol' buddy, the port-a-john! It was really hard saying goodbye to him (or her?), knowing how close we'd become over the past year. But I had to do it nonetheless. Goodbye old friend! (sniffle, sniffle). I now look forward to a few of the more taken-for-granted pleasures of being back home, such as not needing to wear flip-flops in the shower for fear of who knows what fungus is growing there, and then indoor plumbing -- that is, not having to physically go outside and walk to the bathroom. Especially at night! Boy, it will be good to be home!

And one final note, remember what I said last blog about the General Orders #1 (not being allowed to drink)? Well, we had a few of the Soldiers disregard that order two nights ago. They went into town (which was allowed), but decided to come back drunk. Not a good idea. Now all 7 of them are in hot water. A "Field Grade" Article 15 means they can all lose rank as well as a lot of money for violating a direct order. The Battalion Commander (BC) decided to put everyone on "lock down" since the incident, which means no one can leave Post anymore until we fly home. No one can go to an off-base restaurant or movie, or visit wth their family members who may be staying in a local hotel. Those families who are here and were hoping to spend time in the evenings with their Soldier are out of luck. So as you can imagine, the rest of the Soldiers are angry -- at their buddies for breaking the rules as well as at the BC for her decision to restrict passes. Basically, people are tired and grumpy and just want this to be over. I can relate. So please, keep us in your prayers for a little bit longer. It's almost over!
All I know is this is my last weekend of this deployment. I will be back home with my wife and kids by the end of this up-coming week. Thank you, Lord.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Afghanistan In My Rear-View Mirror




16 Aug 2010 (Monday)

I am currently sitting on a wooden deck outside a "sports bar" on a US Airbase base in what used to be southern Russia using their free Wi-Fi. Sounds pretty cool, huh? Who would have expected that a few years back? It has been a very relaxing day -- my first since leaving Afghanistan. Even though we arrived at 4 in the morning, it was still good to be here! My feet are now on Russian soil (sort of), and will soon be on American soil. I like the sound of that. But back to the sports bar issue: we are still under what's commonly refered to as "General Orders #1," which says that we cannot consume alcohol until we are released from this tour. Many of the soldiers are really bummed about this, although I'm not sure why. We were all told very clearly that no one can drink here long before we arrived, and yet some still hoped the rules would be bent for them. Personally, I could care less. A cold Coke is perfect for me!
Yesterday was another typical "hurry-up-and-wait" day in the Army. We were told to be ready by 1400 hrs (2 pm), but the bus and bag truck showed up at noon. So we all quickly got our gear loaded up and we boarded the busses to the Customs building/tent. They off-loaded all of our gear and duffel bags into this long, hot tent (see picture). It was a nightmare trying to find your bags, as you can see. (I have the advantage of previously painting crosses onto my bag to distinguish it from all others as the Chaplain's bag!). Anyway, then we went through customs -- where they make you unpack everything and show it to the Agent. They confiscated my lithium battery for my flashlight! So now I have no light while in the dark tent here. I don't get that?! But anyway, it was a very tedious process. They want to make sure Soldiers are not trying to sneak illegal items out of the country and into ours. I guess that makes sense, but it's still a drag to go through. And then we waited. And waited. And waited. Seven hours later we were rounded up and crammed aboard an Airforce C-17 cargo plane for the short flight here. We all cheered when the plane lifted off of Afghanistan soil for the last time! It was a neat experience. The pilot allowed me to go up to the flight deck level to take the above picture. I was sitting over on the left-hand side, about 3/4 of the way back. Notice our gear all piled up in the back of the plane under the cargo nets. The AirForce has this down to a science (although not a fast one)! Anyway, the first step in the process of getting home is over and Afghanistan is now behind me!



Sunday, August 15, 2010

We're Outta Here!















Sun 15 Aug




It has been a long, hot, final week. There were three awards ceremonies this past week, and one big Transfer of Authority (TOA) ceremony. I was scheduled to give the opening prayer (invocation), and we rehearsed it maybe five times all the way through (to make sure everyone knew their part). But when the time came for the actual real-deal ceremony (the one where the General and several Colonels were in attendance), well, that's when the announcer completely forgot the opening prayer. She completely skipped over me. I was standing in my spot next to the podium ready to go, but they skipped right past me. So I stood there for a few uncomfortable minutes before sitting down. I was pretty bummed and disappointed with it all. It seemed to be a fitting ending to some of the other stuff that has occured this year with this battalion. So I thanked God for bringing us to the end and pray for safe travels home.
Two of the pictures are of the TOA Ceremony itself. You can see the Soldiers standing in formation, as well as my Battalion Commander and Sergeant Major rolling up the flag of our ballation. There is a symbolic moment where our "colors" are put away, and the new Unit's flag (or colors) is unfurled. They now have authority and we are done! Oh and the best part... there was a neat cake after the ceremony with our "Dark Knights" logo on it. (That is the top picture).

I am also attaching a few pictures of the tent I lived in for over a week. We had a crazy experience last Thursday when a rain storm flooded our area. Water started pouring in through the seams in the top of the tent, and it began pouring down on our bunks and gear. There were over 150 guys living in this small space and it was mass chaos trying to move bunk beds out of the way and get clothing and gear up off the wet floor. I was fortunate that my bed was not near an open seam. So I took these pictures during the mess. I told a few people afterwards that it was such a miserable experience that it was almost comical. I guess that was par for the course for those of us living out there in the Warrior RSOI area (a.k.a., District 9). I am so glad to be done with it.
And that brings me to the end of this blog. It will be the last one I do from Afghanistan. The next time I blog, it will be either from a stop along the way home, or from the good 'ol USA. I have less than 2 weeks before I will be officially done with this deployment and home with my family. I can't wait! So I'll talk to you again soon but please pray for our safety as we travel home. I would appreciate it. Thanks for following along this year. i appreciate that.

Friday, August 06, 2010

Another Fallen Hero








Friday 6 Aug,

My day started off at 3:15 am when I got up to participate in a Ramp Ceremony for a Fallen "Kiwi" Soldier. The Kiwi is the national bird of New Zealand, and their soldiers here like to be called the Kiwi's. Anyway, I was paying my last respects to the New Zealand detachment here who experienced their very first soldier killed in AFG so far (and first in battle since 2002). I got to know some of their team here this past year, and even though this particular soldier was from a FOB out in the West (and I did not know him personally), I wanted to be there and salute his casket and pay my respects. His body was flown here to be loaded on an Air Force plane bound for home. [If you want to get a good feel for how the military takes care of and honors their Fallen Heroes, watch the movie, Taking Chance, with Kevin Bacon. It's a well done and moving film about a Marine killed in action and the process of getting his body home to his family]. There were about 200 American Army and Air Force personnel who came out at 0400 hrs to honor the Kiwi's and their Hero. It was pretty special. If you've been following my blog since the beginning of my year here, you will remember my own Unit had a Soldier KIA just 16 days into the deployment. So I experienced a Ramp Ceremony from a personal level last November. It is probably fitting that I attend another one right here at the end of my stay as well.

It was also a hard day for a separate reason, too. I had to deal with a personal issue today that has been building up for a few months -- and one that I should have dealt with long ago. I prayed about it for a week and then got quite a bit of advice and support from my peers and leadership, so I know I did the right thing. But it was still hard. The Army has forced me to step out of my comfort zone on a number of occassions, which is always difficult. But I believe God uses these experiences to stretch us and change us and help us grow. It is always for God's glory, but also for my benefit as well. Sometimes it's hard to see that in the midst of the trial, but God's purposes always prevail! You can bank on that.

I will preach my final sermon here this weekend. It will be a weird feeling to say goodbye to some of the people I have met and worked with at the chapels here over the last 10 months. One constant here is change, and everyone eventually goes home, but you never think your time will get here. Well now it is, and I will get to ride off into the sunset (so to speak) real soon.
And finally, I am attaching a few extra pictures this time. One is of the awards ceremony we held for our Advanced Party team. We already sent a handful of soldiers ahead of us back to the USA to accompany the equipment and to help get the housing and details ready for us when we all hit the de-Mobilization site in Texas. The picture is of my buddy, SSG Flores, getting his award. He is saluting our Colonel and Sergeant Major. And the final two are snapshots of a few posters I saw that were meaningful to me this year (including one of Bill Mauldin's famous cartoons from WWII, this one with a Chaplain. Notice the guy's helmet up front).

I am going to try to do one more blog early next week. But if not, this may be my last one from Afghanistan!




Monday, August 02, 2010

Relief in Place (RIP)





2 Aug

Well, it's definitely coming to an end. We are officially into our RIP process, which means your replacements are here and you are in the training phase. One week where we train them, and the second week where we slide out of the way. It's a great feeling. I am attaching a picture of my replacement, Chaplain Cox. He has hit the ground running and seems to have a good handle on things so far. He comes into the Army as a former pastor, so he has a pastor's heart as well. I think he'll do great. I am also attaching a picture of my room on the day I moved out and gave it to Chaplain Cox. It was weird. This was my home away from home for almost a year. The final picture is of the "clam shell" where they are getting ready to receive part of a brigade coming through here soon. There were no other spaces available for these new soldiers, so they set up almost 150 cots in this big open tent area. It is miserably hot in there in the day, so this is going to get ugly. As for me, I have been sleeping on a similar style cot in a buddy's room. But today I secured a place near the main post chapel starting tomorrow. In the end, however, I will be out in the big open tents will all of my Soldiers. By that time I won't care! I'm soooooo ready for this to be over.
Please pray for me this week. I have to deal with some administrative stuff that I have been avoiding, and so I could use your prayers. It will be an important week as we train the new team, but also a hard one, too. But once we get past this it will be smooth (or smoother?) sailing to the finish line. ..... I hope.



Monday, July 26, 2010

Last Few Weeks





27 July (Tues)

Today is a great day because it marks one of the significant milestones of this deployment: My replacement arrives today!!! His Unit has been slowly trickling in over the past week, and his plane gets here this afternoon. It will be hard to wipe this silly grin off of my face for awhile. Although there is one thing that will dampen my excitement and you can see it for yourself in the attached pictures. We all will have to move over to the other side of this base and into what they call the transient tents. Many of our soldiers are already there, as you can see. The picture of the big empty circus tent with almost 500 beds in it (bunk-bed style) is where we will be. If you look closely in the back of the tent you can see my friend, Stephen, waving at me while I took the picture. It has been very hot over here this past week (almost 110 degrees), and they say the air conditioning in those tents is not great. Many of our soldiers are already grumbling, but hey, what can you do? And besides, it's only for a short while! You can tolerate just about anything if you know it is temporary. ("Embrace the Suck!" as they say in the Army).
The other picture is of the poster I made for my Chaplain Fun Run last Friday. I organized a run around the base (a total of 8 miles) for our Unit and had 8 soldiers come out and join me. It was the 2nd time I made it all the way around this place, which is a significant achievement for me. I have been active in my PT so far and my weight has dropped steadily because of it. I am down to a weight that I have not seen since college! I hope I can keep it off when I get home. It's easy to get into a routine with exercise here because it is expected of you and the facilities to go work out or run on a treadmill are easily accessible. That will not be the case when I get home unfortunately, so it will take more effort to stay consistent.
Anyway, I packed up and moved out of my room yesterday. It was kind of a weird feeling seeing it all empty (except for a few items I am leaving behind for the new Chaplain). He will go right into my room today and I will move out either to the tents or maybe sleep on a cot in a friend's room for awhile. The problem with moving to the transient tents is that it is hard to get back over here to the office every morning for the daily meetings and to train my new counterpart. So I may be in limbo for the first week before I commit to the other side of town. We'll see how it goes. But I did send home two large trunks and several smaller boxes full of my stuff already. It was good to lighten the load (but not cheap on the postage!). Leaving the room for the last time was a weird feeling because it had been my "home" for most of the last year. I am glad to leave it, don't get me wrong, but it was just a strange feeling nonetheless. So please keep me in your prayers trough this transition. Relationships here are strained. We're tired and people are stressed out... myself included at times. So please pray for God's guidance, safety, and grace. Thank you.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Getting Closer to the End



21 July

It has been a fast but hard week since I last posted a blog entry. Since I no longer pay for the internet in my room, I have to walk over to the USO to do this--which is not as easy as I had hoped--and sometimes you still cannot get on the internet from here (too many people trying to do the same thing at the same time). But I got lucky today!
In the last week I have spent hours packing up my room to get ready to move out next week sometime. My replacement should be here by then, and I will give up my space for him. (Not exactly sure where I'll be staying from here on out, but we'll see. I may be in the big transient soldier tents with hundreds of others!). I have mailed home two large tough boxes and a duffel bag filled with military gear and clothing. We are all trying to pare down to the bare minimum from here on out, because each one of us will be responsible for carrying it all the way home! So the less I have with me the better. In fact, I may even send home one more box just before I leave to get rid of even more stuff right at the very end. My poor wife will not know what to do with it all!
I preached on "Forgiveness" from Genesis 50:15ff and Matthew 6:12, 14-15 last weekend. It went really well, and I received many positive compliments from people who stated it was what they needed to hear. I even had a guy come up to me after the morning service and tell me that he has stayed away from "organized religion" due to being hurt by several church members (including a pastor) in his past. He has attended chapel here sporatically, and decided to come last Sunday. He told me it was as if God wanted him there and that I was speaking just to him! That was a nive pick-me-up. Little did he know that God was also speaking to me through my own sermon! He does that sometimes, you know. I have learned over the years that God can give me an idea that He wants me to develop into a Bible study or sermon message, and it was designed with me in mind, too. Those can be convicting and painful messages for me. Anyway, I plan to preach on "Attitude" this weekend and use a clip from the movie, "Facing the Giants" (where the player does the "death crawl" all the way across the field). It's a great scene of not giving up and keeping a positive attitude. [Again, a message that God is using in my own life, too].
And on top of all that, I came down with a head cold last Saturday. I have the sniffles and cough now, but it is slowly getting better. I hope so, because I have organized a "Chaplain FUN RUN" this Friday morning for anyone who wants to run all the way around the base with me -- a total of 8 miles. So far I have a few takers, so I hope to feel up to it by then!
The pictures, by the way, are of a few new friends who came to my service last weekend. TIMMY and APOLLO are therapy dogs who are part of a new project here in Afghanistan. In fact, they are the first therapy dogs in this country being used by the US Military. The Army is opening up a second Warrior Restoration Center in the south east (the first one is here on my base), and they plan to use the dogs for therapy groups and sessions (much like they do at hospitals back home). I have been invited to lead a few therapy groups at the Warrior Center here over the past year, and think this is a great idea. Anyway, their trainers came through here last weekend and showed up to church! I was glad to have them. (I'm not sure if the dogs enjoyed my sermon, through. Timmy slept through it!)

Monday, July 12, 2010

Half-Gan Man


12 July

OK, I am back at my home base now, and it looks like that was our last trip visiting troops before we leave. I am glad for that, actually. Traveling around this country is hard and tiring, and I am exhausted. We only have a short time to go before this deployment is over, and so we will concentrate on getting our office in shape in time for a hand-off to the new Unit Ministry Team that will be replacing us.
But I wanted to share a few photos that made the last trip a success for me. When I first arrived here last year I was told of a man I had to meet when I was out and about. The Soldiers call him "Half-Gan Man," and you can now tell why. I am sorry if that sounds like an insult, but I actually think it is a term of endearment. The Soldiers love this guy, and look forward to visiting his shop at the bazaar near the city of Ghazni. And so I got a chance to meet him, and he immediately charmed my socks off. He was trying to sell me blue stones that he said were "pure gold," but otherwise he was a lot of fun. His English was pretty good as well, so I was impressed. He also charged $2 for a picture of him (and his shop was covered with pictures of him with Soldiers), so it was obvious he made quite a bit of cash on the side from be photographed! He didn't seem to mind the attention at all.
It will be a busy week for me as I am preparing to preach this Sunday, as well as host a movie night on Friday (we'll be watching "We Are Marshall"), and give a brief presentation to our command group on stress and resiliency. The Army is big on this new concept of Soldier Resiliency (in order to avoid burn-out), and we Chaplains are supposed to be the experts. Nobody realizes that we are just as burned-out as everyone else! So please pray for me, as I will definitely need the help and support to make it strong to the end!




Friday, July 09, 2010

Waiting on the Lord

9 July
I was watching the movie, "Fireproof", the other night and was struck by a song on waiting on the Lord that play about 3/4 of the way through the movie. If you have not seen the movie, by the way, I would highly recommend it. But there is this song playing while the main character, Caleb, is trying to be a good husband and keep going with the "Love Dare" book even though he is not seeing any results. The words of the song really hit me:

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on you Lord, and I am hopeful.
I'm waiting on you Lord, though it is painful.
But patiently... I will wait.

I will move ahead, bold and confident,
Taking every step in obedience...
While I'm waiting!

I will serve you... while I'm waiting;
I will worship... while I'm waiting.
I will not faint, I'll be running the race,
Even while I wait.

I will serve you while I'm waiting;
I will worship while I'm waiting!

What a great song, and I know why it means so much to me now. I have been praying for God's wisdom and guidance on new job opportunities when I return from this deployment (maybe something in the ministry or chaplain-related). But He has been silent on the subject so far. So I wait.

Psalms 37:7 and 46:10 are two of my favorite and they speak directly to waiting on the Lord. But this song also hits the important point that we are still to serve Him and to work diligently while we wait. Even if we're uncomfortable and it's painful, we still need to trust Him and continue serving Him where in our current circumstances (i.e., bloom where you are planted), and wait patiently for God. Another great passage, Jeremiah 29:11-13, tells us that the Lord has a plan for our lives, and it's a good one. So we have to trust in His promises, timing, and provision. Even if it means waiting for awhile! Rather than complaining about my circumstances and my desire for a change, I need to keep praying and continue serving and worshiping Him while I wait.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Reading Material

7 July
This year has given me the opportunity to read quite a bit, and this current trip is no exception. I recently started "Jesus Among Other Gods" by Ravi Zacharias, and have been plodding my way through it. He's very deep and philosophical, and so it's no easy pleasure read. Ravi was born in India in a Hindu society, but became a Christian later in life. He is now a brilliant and outspoken Christian author and lecturer. He goes all over the world teaching and preaching about Christ and debating athiests in liberal and secular universities as well. His work is awesome and I am enjoying his arguments for Christianity, especially against Islam and Hunduism, which he knows well. The message of Christ's love and truthfulness is very much needed over here.

The second book I just picked up yesterday is called "Wisdom of Our Fathers," by Tim Russert. This is the follow up book to his earlier "Big Russ and Me," a book he wrote about his dad. You may rememebr Tim Russert as the political analyst on NBC who died suddenly of a heart attack about 3 years ago. Anyway, this 2nd book is a collection of stories people wrote to him about their own dads after reading his 1st book. The stories are touching and personal and meaningful and have me thinking about my own dad as well as my affect on my children. If nothing else, his book reaffirms the absolute importance of a dad in the lives of his children--sometimes in ways he never knew about or expected. I can't wait to get home and love on my kids! So there I was reading this book in the dining hall last night with tears running down my face, hoping no one was looking! What a sight I must have been.

"God, thank you for my dad, and help me to be a little more like him!" Amen

Monday, July 05, 2010

M.A.S.H. (part 2)

5 July
If you followed my blog back in May of this year, you might remember that I had the privilege of praying for (and traveling with) a soldier critically wounded from a blast and who needed to take a medivac helicopter back to a larger base. Well, I am back visiting that same FOB and the same medical personnel at this surgical hospital. It's very much like MASH the TV show (and my buddy Father Mulcahey-- sp?), except that it's not mobile, as in "Mobile Army Surgical Hospital"). These guys are awesome and save lives every day. It's the busiest forward medical facility in the country, and it's been kind of an honor to work with them. Which I did again today. They called me this afternoon to let me know wounded soldiers were coming in. One young man took shrapnel to his lower legs and needed surgery here before being flown out. I was allowed to stand at the head of his bed and spend time with him -- talking, praying, keeping him occupied -- while the medical crew worked on his legs. He was Catholic but didn't care at all what my denominational preference is... just that I was there. It was a privilege.

I also noticed something interesting last night when the Polish priest led evening Mass at this FOB. The chapel was literally destroyed by a rocket months ago (with no one inside), and since they have not rebuilt it, he holds Mass outside to the Polish soldiers at this location. I noticed that at one point that a Polish soldier played the guitar and sang... in English. He was singing a Top 40s tune I knew (but cannot recall the name) and playing very beautifully on the guitar, but I thought it was interesting that his choice of song was not a religious song and it was in English and not Polish. Maybe translating it to Polish would lose all the rhythm of the words and music, I'm not sure. I guess it doesn't really matter since over here you worship where you can, when you can, and with what you got. I remember leading a field service to about 7 soldiers awhile ago and we got rained on! Oh well. You do the best you can and leave the results up to God.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Prayer Needed

3 July
Happy early 4th of July to all. I will be traveling all next week, so please pray for our safety and ministry efforts. There are serious morale issues going on in this battalion and it is effecting me, too. I believe in Ephesians 6:10-18 and know in my heart there is a spiritual battle going on here, too. We're not just at war with the Taliban over here, but the unseen realm as well. I am being attacked and stretched way beyond my comfort zone and at times feel very alone. I know that I am not, of course, as God's Word tells me that He will never leave me nor forsake me, and I am counting on the promises of Scripture. But it can be very hard nonetheless. I also know that He who is with me is greater than anything working against me, so I take comfort in that knowledge as well. I love the story in the Bible of when Elisha prays that God would open the eyes of his servant to see the hills around them surrounded with angels and chariots of fire ready to protect them (2 Kings 6:15-17). At times I wish I could see that, too! I would value your prayers for me and my troops until this thing is over.

Friday, July 02, 2010

Chess and other Recent Pictures









2 July

Yeah, July is here!! I am sitting in the USO here on my base, having just connected to their free WiFi network. The network administrators here have recently upgraded their filters and now it's almost impossible to get to the internet from your work station. Everything (it seems) is blocked. For example, I cannot even get to http://www.strongbonds.org/, which is a website for Chaplains on single and marriage retreat seminars available to all soldiers after returning from deployments. So I came over here and found out I can work for free from here. I wish I had known this 9 months ago!!
The pictures: A momma bird sitting in her nest near my B-hut "hooch", the dining facility (DFAC) getting ready fot the 4th of July, and two shots of a chess board I recently saw at one of the FOBs I visited. A soldier made this set from hand and was selling it. I did not inquire as to the price, but I thought his creation was pretty impressive. Note that it's a chess game of the "good guys" vs. the "bad guys."
And finally, a special thank you to a few friends from my church who helped set up a basketball hoop for my oldest daughter on her birthday. Thanks for helping make her day special guys. I appreciate it and thank God for good friends.




Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Tensions Are High

29 June
An interesting thing is happening as we get closer to the end of this deployment. You might think that stress levels would go down, but for some reason we're seeing just the opposite. I think it has to do with recent changes we've had to go through in order to get ready for our replacements to arrive. (Nobody likes change!) We're moving offices and consolidating space to make room for more bodies to be here soon. You see, the last few weeks of our cycle will be the first few weeks for the battalion that replaces us. So we will spend about two weeks training them before we go. The only problems is there really is not enough room for double the people. This means Soldiers are starting to pack up and ship their extra stuff home. But it also means some of our poeple will be vacating their rooms soon and will be sleeping in the RSOI transient Soldier tents on the other side of the base. Nobody is looking forward to that! So please keep us in your prayers as the summer progresses. People here are tired and sick of this place, this war, and each other. We all want to go home, but we can't... yet. I know the day is coming, but until then we have to just make due and get along! [At least there is job security for the Chaplain. These stressful issues keep me busy with counseling sessions!]

I also have a few pictures I want to upload today, but we've been having internet problems over here recently and it's giving me troubles. So I will keep trying and hopefully get them posted soon.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

USO & Rugs







24 June



It has been a slow week for me so far. We are not traveling again for awhile and will be moving offices soon, so much of the week has been spent on moving supplies and cleaning out my desk. We're vacating a larger space and moving into a smaller one. Oh well. Not much I can do about it when the boss says we got to go. On a different note, I recently bought some rugs over here and had them shipped home. I guess they are known for their elaborate hand-made silk rugs in this part of the world, so I wanted a few memories of this experience. The shop owners expect you to barter with them and haggle about the price. I hate doing that, but I was successful in knocking $50 off the original price. Maybe that was good, or maybe I still got taken. I'm not sure I'll ever know.



I wanted to send a few pictures along of a recent FOB I visited that had a great USO. I actually do not know what it stands for, but I know they are places where service members can go and relax. They have them all over the world, even here, and this one stood out to me. They hung a parachute from the roof, which gave it this cool "cave-like" appearance. They have TVs and movies and books and video games for the soldiers to watch and play with, so it was a pretty popular place to hang out.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Traditional Dinner (Like Jesus?)







21 June

This past weekend was Father's Day. My first without my dad, who died last Fall. My wife and kids and mom sent nice cards and two different care packages to help make it a special day. I appreciated that. It is nice to get stuff from home. I spent some private time in prayer yesterday thanking God for my dad and the man that he was. I have gone through many of the predictable stages on a young man's life and I'm to the point now where I want to be more like my 'ol man and hope that I would have made (or did make) him proud for the kind of dad I have become.

It has also been more than a week since I added to the blog. That's because I was traveling much of the past 6 days. I had an interesting experience that I want to share with you. We visited one of our teams stationed near the edge of the Tora Bora mountain range. I'll try to upload a few pictures soon, if the internet will allow it). You may remember that name as the mountains where the bad guys escaped from our forces back in 2001 or so. We pounded that range with bombs back then, but no luck. Now here I was, standing at the foot of those very same mountains and wondering how things have changed since then, and how the world might have been different had we succeeded?

But we also had the opportunity to have a traditional Afgan meal with some of the local men. Our team at this small FOB had been invited for dinner with some local men, and they allowed us to come along. It was a rare treat. As a Chaplain, I am actually considered to be something like their "mullah" (or religious leader), and so they typically see me and treat me with respect. It's kind of a cool position to be in. Anyway, we actually sat on the floor (on mats) and ate with our hands, using the local bread as our utinsils to scoop the meat or beans out of the bowls. It was quite delicious, I must admit. But messy. I had it all over my pant legs. Oh well. You will see from the pictures how our hosts served us (in bare feet), walking on the same floor that we ate off of! Bugs were flying in and out of this small hut, and a cat tried to walk in the front door! But I have to say, the people here can be very friendly and generous. They have so little, and yet they gladly gave to us out of their hospitality. It was neat to experience that. It made me think of Jesus reclining at the table with his disciples. They probably had something similar to eat, and the room might have felt somethink like what I experienced that night as well.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Sick


Sun 13 June
Warning: the following subject matter may not be suitable for younger audiences and may even make my wife embarrassed. (Sorry honey). I am sitting on my bed typing this blog, having spent most of the last two days sick with food poisoning or a stomach flu. This was actually one of my worst fears come true over here: being so sick that I needed to run to the filthy porta-john and not know whether to sit on it or throw my head in it! (The stench alone is enough to make you vomit sometimes!) It was not a fun two days, let me tell you. I think I lost 4 lbs. the hard way! It makes you realize how much you miss home because there is nothing worse than being sick away from home. When you feel that bad all you want are the comforts of home: your own bed and bathroom, maybe a glass of ice water and a cold washcloth for your forehead. Maybe even your mommy (or wife) to take care of you. Nope. Ain't got none of that over here. (Although one of the guys in my B-hut did get me some food and gatorade. He was good to me).

I have heard stories of a number of Soldiers who have also been sick at one time of another, so I guess it's not too uncommon to get something bad from the DFAC food. Some of our guys up in the hills recently had to get antibiotics and "deworming" medicing after eating with some local nationals in a village. They were sick as dogs for a week or more until they could get to a medic. That must have been awful. Needless to say the dining conditions were not very sanitary. And knowing what we know about how the locals wash their hands and bodies, it explains a lot! At least mine was not that bad. Maybe a 24-hr bug, and now I'm recovering. I feel beat up and drained of energy; you know that feeling in your stomach muscles after you've been vomiting? Well, at least it's over for now. I hope to not go through that again!!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Encouraging Words







10 June
It has been a pretty quiet week so far. My assistant and I are not traveling again for awhile, and I'm "on-call" for three other Chaplains this week. So it's a good thing that all is quiet on the western front, so to speak. An interesting thing happened to me recently: I had a civilian contractor come up to me while at lunch and state he felt God leading him to tell me that I had made a difference in his life over here. He had been a regular attender at one of the chapel services that I support (and preach at), and now was getting ready to go home. So he just came up to me out of the blue and gave me a very nice compliment and an encouraging boost for the day. Then today I received a letter in the mail (snail mail) from a friend back home that used to go to my church. She stated she was thinking of me because she found an old sermon handout from one of my very first sermons back in June of 2005, where I preached on the Ark of the Covenant. She told me she still remembers that sermon and the illustration I used that morning, and did not want me to think that what I do or say is not remembered by others. I was really touched by her kind words. It was pretty cool. I am not sure why God is giving me these separate "pick-me-ups" recently, but I won't complain. Wasn't it Mark Twain who said he could live off of one compliment for three weeks? (or something like that). Me too!
The pictures: (1) Our company HQ's door. Many reminders of home. (2) Myself and my company commander and the logo she designedd and painted on her office door. It represents our command and the many different teams we work with and under. (3) A shot of the pasture land right ourside the fence. I took this picture while driving to church last weekend. The local shepherds can graze right up to the wire.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

June is Here!


5 June
It has been almost a full week since I posted a blog. I was traveling again and got back to my home base this morning. Some places we go have good internet access, but not so at all of the FOBs. We were hoping to get to a smaller place and see some of the guys who rarely get visitors, but the flight options in and out of there did not cooperate with us this past week. So we had to change plans and stay at a larger FOB and see the teams there. Some of these places are so bare-minimum that they do not accomodate women. They can't really, because they do not have the space or the extra facilities. Guys only. My female Chaplain Assistant is not too thrilled about that, and we may still try to get to one of those places in a few weeks. We can do this because our battalion commander--a Colonel--is also female and she is making a fuss about it. So off we go. Some of these FOBs do not even have toilets or showers, and I have heard stories of Soldiers going months without showering. I only plan to visit for a few days. A little B.O. never hurt anybody!

The picture is of me standing next to a Chech tank overlooking a valley below. The place we visited has this nice scenic spot for pictures, but you have to share the space with the tank. I doubt it has ever been fired in this war! But it looks cool sitting there on top of the hill. It may have been made by the Russians for this very terrain 30 years ago, who knows?

I had to be at the flight terminal at 3:00 am this morning to secure a seat on a flight back to my base. So I sat there in the dark, looking at the stars and half-moon. It was still bright enough to light up the ground. I wondered if my family could see the same moon I was looking at? Do you remember that scene in Apollo 13, where Tom Hanks uses his thumb to gauge the size of the moon, and then his wife is back home doing the same thing? Being so far away, it makes me wonder if we can see the same sky at night? The stars here are fantastic -- but I've already mentioned that in a previous blog. It is one of the things I will actually miss about this country and experience.

By the way, we are getting close enough to or end date that people have started a countdown. I won't put it here, but we are close enough to see light at the end of the tunnel, but still too far away to get excited about. Business as usual for awhile more.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Day

31 May
Today is Memorial Day. It is a time to stop and reflect and honor those who have given their lives--the ultimate sacrifice--in time of war, and for the freedom and security of others. It has been a low-key day here so far. There was a ceremony earlier this morning, but I did not attend. It was quite a long walk from my office, and I chose to have a personal time of reflection instead. It has a weird feeling here about this Holiday, almost as if people don't want to celebrate it while in a war zone. Perhaps it will have more meaning to me next year, when I'm at home and away from this place. Maybe it's too raw for some to celebrate this day. One of my Chaplain friends had two Soldiers in his battalion killed in the month of May alone. I guess no one really wants to talk about it. But we do pay homage to our Fallen Heroes. I will remember Chris, from my Unit, as well as his family. I will also say a prayer for all those who have died for our country and for the freedoms we hold dear. Please do the same. Thank you.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Army Buddies




28 May
Tonight we celebrated the birthday of one of my good friends from this deployment. His name is Stephen and he has been my PT partner and a good source of information for me about Army stuff. He's been in 17 years now, and he's one of the smartest guys I know, so I often look to him for an explanation to some of this stuff. In the picture you will see a handful of the "junior" officers in the Battalion (Lieutenants and Captains). We all went out to dinner together tonight and spent some quality time together. They say misery loves company, and most of these officers here went through a rough time this deployment. The Company Commander position, Operations, Human Resources, and Supply can be extremely hectic places to work in the Army, not to mention in a deployed environment. With the exception of the guy on the left, this is a quality group of people, and I'm proud to call them friends.

The second picture is of a buddy back home who served in the Army a few years back. A knee injury ended his military career, otherwise I'm sure he'd love to be here with me now. He is a great friend from church who supports me back home with a bracelet that he won't take off until I come home. Now that's pretty cool! However, he is a Notre Dame fan, but I don't hold that against him. The only problem is I have yet to receive a card or letter or even a post card from him! It's heart breaking. Someone tell him that I'm just not feeling the love from my Army buddy back home. It's tragic.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Injured Toe and other Travel Stories














25 May


I'm back in my little room ("hooch") tonight after returning to my base early this morning. It was a good visit to a few of the FOBs, although the travel issues continue to haunt us. Essentially, it is a drag trying to get from one place to another over here. But once you get there it can be an enjoyable time (even fun, occasionally). But let me share a few photos and highlights from the last week...




I smashed my toe into a door frame yesterday morning and hobbled about for a few hours afterward. It hurt bad enough that I went to the Med station and had them examine and "buddy tape" it. I could bend it some by that time, so we don't think it is broken, but boy does it sting to hurt a toe. I don't know why I actually took a picture of my toes here, and posting it on the internet is even sillier. My wife says I need a manicure before I ever take a picture of my feet again! But oh well. I can't go into much of the military stuff, so I have to share other (less exciting) aspects of my everyday life. I suppose a coat of red nail polish would do wonders. Hummm.....??? Naaah. I'll pass.




The picture of the shepherd was taken from a look-out tower at one of our FOBs. This particular place is very quiet and safe, and the reason for that has to do with a local warloard and a graveyard on the FOB. Apparently, some of his ancestors are buried in this particular graveyard within the FOB's boundaries, and he did not take kindly to the Taliban shooting rockets at this FOB a few years back. Local tradition has it he went after the Taliban himself and made a violent example out of those guys and a warning to anyone who messes with that specific FOB in his territory. So our troops in this area enjoy peace and quiet and his protection, in a way. Needless to say, the local shepherds come right up the the walls of the military base.




The watermelon was a gift from a local man to our team last Saturday. About six of us sat around and enjoyed some watermelon like it was 4th of July back home. It was a good day and a nice memory. Thankfully, no one got sick from the local citrus, which was a possibility.




Also, I got to tell you about my ordeal getting home last night. My assistant and I managed to get seats on a 10:30 pm flight back to our base. I had high hopes of getting into my room about midnight and sleeping in my own bed. No such luck. We actually got on board and were all loaded and ready for take-off when they discovered a problem with the brakes. Good thing they found it when they did, I suppose, but we ended up sitting there on the plane for over an hour before they sent us back to the terminal to wait it out. They told us they might fix it in a few hours and we'd be on our way about 2 am. So I stayed up and watched a movie in the terminal. My assistant tried to sleep on the concrete floor. It was not fixed at 2 am, so we were placed on the 6 am bird (which was cancelled at the last minute, too). We finally caught a 7:30 am flight that actuallt did fly us home. I never did get any sleep at the terminal, and realized I had been up over 26 hours. I did catch a nap today, and hope to get some real rest tonight. One of the things I realize about the Army is that the days can be very long!




And finally, I received a nice comment about my blog from a new Marine friend who stumbled across it on the internet. Thank you for your encouragement as well as for your own past service. I appreciate that you put on the uniform, too, and for your kind words. Some days I do not know what impact I'm having over here, but other days it's more obvious. Thanks for the reminder and the pick-me-up!